


don't ask me to explain

by achapterends



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Love Confessions, M/M, OT5, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sharing a Bed, Surfing, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 17:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11491593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achapterends/pseuds/achapterends
Summary: On the two hundred and eighty seventh day of the hiatus, they wind up on a Caribbean beach.Confessions, coming outs, and a whole lot of queer platonic loving.





	don't ask me to explain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thepriestthinksitsthedevil (stubliminalmessaging)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubliminalmessaging/gifts).



> I'm so sorry this is incredibly late, I got super behind on life in general but it's here now and I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> title from the of Montreal song.

On the two hundred and eighty seventh day of the hiatus, they wind up on a Caribbean beach.

It’s _hot_. Unbearably so, and Louis’ skin is turning pink. There’s a sheen of sweat covering his body, beading on his forehead and pooling in the dips of his collarbones. He sips on a fruit infused cocktail through a straw, the ice clinking against the side of the glass melodically. His legs are crossed at the ankles, flip flops leaving imprints in his skin where they’re pressed against it. He kicks them off, straddling the sun lounger so he can bury his feet in the warm, golden sand. He wiggles his toes and revels in the feeling of the grains between them.

On the chair next to him, nestled under a canopy, Harry is reading a book that he bought in the airport. Some overpriced, romantic spiel. He looks deep in thought as he turns the pages, as if it’s the most riveting thing he’s ever read. Louis leans across the space between them to jab Harry’s side.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Louis asks, squinting at Harry in the sun and offering him a sweet smile.

Harry looks contemplative, gazing out across the beach towards the sea. Then, he turns to Louis, dog ears his book, and holds his hand out for Louis to take. “Let’s go.”

Louis grins and laces his fingers between Harry’s. They both have clammy palms and it shouldn’t feel as nice as it does, but Louis loves the intimacy of hand holding. Harry knows this, and he squeezes Louis’ hand tight as they cross the beach.

They walk rather quickly, the sand burning the soles of their feet as they head for the boardwalk that winds down towards the edge of the ocean. The beach is private and secluded, so the entire stretch is theirs, wrapping around a quiet cove of the island. It’s a beautiful island, expensive and exclusive, and Louis is grateful for the privileged lifestyle they lead that allows them to see such places like this.

They amble around near the water, letting the tide wash over their feet as they bask in the glorious sunshine. Louis dances in between the rock pools and marvels at the starfish that reside in them. Harry is the first to wade into the ocean, insisting that the water is the perfect temperature and readily accepting Louis when he clambers onto Harry’s shoulders. It’s a struggle at first, as Louis is situating himself on Harry’s back and trying to find his balance. Harry does manage to still him with his hands on Louis’ thighs, and Louis hollers and throws his arms up in the sky.

Harry shifts and Louis falls off his shoulders, landing with a splash and getting water up his nose. He starts spluttering dramatically, so Harry laughs it off while he slaps Louis’ back to dislodge the water from his lungs. It works, and when Louis has stopped coughing he floats on his back and kicks his legs violently, creating little tidal waves in Harry’s direction that get his hair wet even though he’d insisted on keeping it dry.

With the water pooling at their hips and the sun browning their skin, they embrace the relief of the cool ocean.

Louis hardly notices that they’ve been gone for so long until he looks up and the sky is turning red as the sun dips below the horizon.

“We should probably get back.” He says, frowning, exhausted. There’s an unmoving smile plastered on his face, though.

“Probably.” Harry reiterates with a careless shrug. He crosses the space between himself and Louis, the water sloshing between their bodies. “Your freckles are coming out.”

Louis scrunches his nose when Harry kisses the tip of it, then giggles. _Giggles_. “You’re too cute.” Harry comments.

Louis beams. “I know.”

“ _Hey!”_

They turn towards the shore in a search for the source of the loud voice that is trying to draw their attention. In the distance there’s a silhouette of someone, feet battering the sand as they run across the beach. As they draw nearer, Harry must realise who it is, because he cups his hands around his mouth and yells after them in reply.

“Zayn!”

Zayn stops in his tracks and pulls up his shorts where they’re sagging low on his waist from running, and then shields his eyes using his hand as a makeshift visor to look at the two of them.

“We’ve been looking all over for you!” Zayn calls, shaking his head playfully. Louis likes to imagine that he’s clicking his tongue too, jokingly chastising the lads for not returning all afternoon.

“Come on then, pup.” Louis sighs happily, grabbing Harry’s hand. He tugs him out of the water, and they trudge through the wet sand until they reach Zayn who’s stood with his arms folded and a tender expression on his face.

Almost as soon as they’re on dry land, and Harry being Harry, he shakes his head like a dog, water flying all over the place. Zayn yelps and jumps back; Louis being _Louis_ , a completely selfless and amazing companion, offers Harry a hair tie that he’s been keeping around his wrist. When he takes it off, there’s a white band right through the middle of his suits tattoo where the sun couldn't reach. Zayn points it out and finds it hilarious. Harry simply takes the tie and pulls his damp hair up into a messy bun.

Zayn slings an arm around Louis’ shoulder as they start walking back to the beach house. Harry leads in front of them, but they keep a slow, steady pace which Louis is thankful for because he’s exhausted.

“D’you have a nice day?” Zayn asks, voice smooth and languid. Zayn’s so laidback, is the thing, even in their everyday life, so this vacation has done nothing but exemplify his relaxed personality.

Harry looks over his shoulder at Zayn and nods, gives him an affectionate smile. “Yeah, it was nice.”

“Would’ve been better with you there, though.” Louis adds, pouting only slightly. Harry feigns offense with an over the top gesture, clutching at his chest like he’s been wounded.

Zayn laughs and pulls Louis against his side. “Missed you too, Tommo.”

Louis hides his face in Zayn’s chest, biting back a grin. Harry can’t resist; he waits for them to catch up and then slithers his hand around Louis’ waist so he’s pressed against the other lads, too. The three of them synchronise their footsteps and stay close, chatting mindlessly about their days, until they reach the porch that envelopes the beach house.

Niall is stood in the doorway, one foot in the house and the other straddling the threshold. He has sunglasses on even though the sun is pretty much completely set, now, night time falling over the island. With open arms, quite literally, he greets the boys with a loud, rambunctious cheer.

“You made it back!” He hollers, chuckling away to himself. His happiness is infectious, and Louis can’t help but run over to him and fall against his chest, wrapping his arms around Niall’s body and swaying them both side to side giddily. “Alright, Lou, what’s got you so excited?”

“Nothing,” Louis murmurs, nuzzling at Niall’s soft cotton shirt. He peers over Niall’s shoulder to see Liam stood behind him, a beer in one hand and the other resting on the side table that he’s propping himself up against.  Liam shoots him a smile, a big one that reaches his eyes. Louis returns it warmly.

Niall lets him go with one last squeeze, and Zayn and Harry follow Louis as he enters the beach house.

It’s a colonial build; wooden, with blue shutters, a porch swing, and palm trees lining the yard. Harry had found it on Airbnb, a listing in a relatively unheard of part of the Caribbean, and it’s absolutely heavenly. Louis could spend the rest of his life here, and he probably would, with his boys, if the universe allowed it.

The entirety of the first floor is open plan, lit by natural light that pours in through big bay windows. In the sitting room, there’s a soft and plush couch draped in blankets that Louis throws himself onto immediately. Zayn joins him, perching beside him and lifting Louis’ feet up to settle them on his own lap. Laid out on the coffee table is a deck of shuffled cards from the night before, and three glasses, two of them half full with wine. Louis expects that Zayn must’ve poured him and Harry a glass for when they returned.

Harry assumes the same, apparently, because he grabs a glass and takes a sip, swilling the wine around his mouth and licking his lips like it’s a delicacy he’ll never taste again. He nods towards Zayn and tips the glass in his direction. “Gorgeous.”

Zayn preens, as if he’s the one who stomped on the grapes himself.

Louis follows suit and begins drinking his wine, quickly feeling the effects of it from not having eaten much all day. Niall and Liam join the three of them in the living room, situating themselves in between the boys already sprawled across the couch. It’s a tangle of limbs, and it’s considerably too warm for their bodies to be this close, but Louis revels in it anyway. He loves having the lads near him, be it physically or emotionally. There’s nowhere else he’d rather have them.

It’s only the third night of their vacation, and they haven’t actually spent that much time as a group since they got here. Louis and Zayn had ended up on some sort of excursion when they first arrived on the island, and spent an entire day driving around in a Jeep that belonged to a man called Clyde who showed them the best parts of the island. Liam, Niall, and Harry had taken that day as a rest day, naturally. The second day was a blur of beaches and sunsets, it all bleeding into one as Louis dragged Niall around a shanty town looking for a seashell bracelet to gift to Liam. Day three, of course, had been spent in the ocean.

So now, at 11 pm with the sun tucked safely behind a blanket of stars and replaced by the brightest, fullest moon Louis has ever seen, the five of them are spending some quality time together.

“Okay,” Liam says, interrupting the amicable chat that’s been taking place as they down their drinks. “I have a question.”

Zayn turns to look at him expectantly. Harry’s eyes widen in a plea to get Liam to keep talking.

“So, like, I was wondering if any of you were planning on meeting someone while we’re here?”

Niall, from Liam’s left hand side - “What, you mean for a shag?”

Louis finds it endearing how Harry’s expression changes at Niall’s crude words.

“Well, yeah.” Liam answers, looking as unsure as he sounds. Zayn shifts beside Louis awkwardly, and Louis instinctively settles him with a hand on his thigh, rubbing his thumb in circles against Zayn’s skin to comfort him.

Louis was the first person in the band that Zayn came out to. It was at the bungalow, not long after One Direction was formed. They were all so _young_ , had no idea what was to come and wouldn’t be able to comprehend it even if they did. But Louis and Zayn were different; they clicked straight away and it was so easy for them to become best friends. One night, on a blow up mattress in the spare bedroom of the bungalow, Zayn had told Louis that he was asexual, and that he liked boys as well as girls. Louis had kissed his forehead and told him that he was proud of him, and then everything went back to normal, and they fell asleep top to toe on the small makeshift bed.

In time, the other boys came to know, and they were of course accepting and understanding. The topic still made Zayn uncomfortable, though.

Niall shrugs. “Dunno.”

“I’m not really hell bent on it, to be honest.” Harry adds, voice dripping with sarcasm in a way that only Louis seems to pick up on.

Liam’s shoulders loosen up as he lets out a tense breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “Thank god,” he utters, relaxing into the couch. “I was hoping we could just spend some time together without, like, anyone else getting in the way. We’ve had too much of that.”

The thing is, the trip was never meant to be about anything other than the five of them. After years of relentless recording, touring, and the celebrity that came with it, they all needed a break. A reality check - a chance to strengthen what had made them so successful in the first place.

Louis feels warm all over, a nice fuzzy feeling settling in the pit of his tummy. The room falls silent, save for the occasional rattle of the island breeze against the shutters and the hum of cicadas outside. It’s getting late, and they’re all tired from their days, Louis and Harry especially since they spent most of it lounging around and swimming in the ocean. There’s something about doing nothing that’s so lethargic, and Louis is contemplating this as his eyelids start fluttering and he falls into a peaceful sleep.

He wakes up only when he feels Liam’s arms beneath him lifting him up from the sofa. Liam’s big and strong, and Louis is quite the opposite, meaning it’s easy for Liam to tuck Louis against his chest and climb the stairs with him in his grasp. Louis whines in protest when Liam settles him on the bed but doesn’t join him; he grapples at the front of Liam’s shirt and pulls him down so he has to give in and cuddle Louis.

“Mmm, this is nice.” Louis mumbles, half asleep with his nose buried in Liam’s chest. Liam smells like sea salt and laundry detergent and home. He wraps an arm around Louis and pulls him in closer.

“You’re a good little spoon, mate.”

Louis nods in agreement. “I’m the best.”

Louis manages to fall asleep again, and the next time he wakes up, the early morning sun is bleeding through the blinds and he has Liam still pressed against him, Harry’s curls in his mouth and Zayn and Niall face down over his feet at the end of the bed. They should’ve rented a one bedroom, after all.

—

“Surf’s up!” Niall yells, pointing at the roaring waves as they crash against the shore. Louis is stood with his surfboard propped under his arm, wetsuit clinging to his body, sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose that’s slick with sun lotion.

“Do you even know what that means.” Louis challenges, lips curling at the corners in a smirk.

“Yeah, ‘course. It’s like, uh, when the waves are. Yeah.” Niall tapers off with a stutter, looking around him frantically searching for a change of subject. “Oh, look!” He finds one. “Think we could climb up there and grab a coconut?” His pointer finger is no longer directed towards the ocean, but instead the tall trunk of a palm tree.

The laugh that rips out of Zayn is uncharacteristic but well fitting; all four lads are gawping at Niall. “Are you serious?” Harry chuckles, but he does actually scope out the top of the palm tree for coconuts.

“Dunno about you, Nialler, but I’m not the best at climbing.” Liam reasons, folding his arms in front of his chest and looking genuinely dejected.

“We could shake it.” Zayn says, matter of fact.

Louis considers this, but then decides against it. “We’d look a bit weird, wouldn’t we. What if someone saw? I can just see the headline now. ‘ _World’s Biggest Boyband Caught Shaking Tree’._ ”

Zayn laughs with his tongue caught between his teeth, eyes crinkling at the corners. Louis looks smug, obviously impressed at his own humour and having made Zayn crack a smile.

“Throw my flip flop at it!” Liam says eagerly, taking one off before the others can argue. He grabs the flimsy bit of foam and pitches it towards the top of the palm, narrowly missing a coconut and lodging the shoe in between the leaves. Liam frowns. “It’s stuck.”

Harry is in _stitches_ , clutching at his sides as he crouches down on the sand to regain some composure, and Louis is ahead of the game with his phone retrieved from its safe resting place in the beach bag beside him, snapping a photo of the flip flop. He’s sure it will be used to bring back fond memories of this trip in years to come, or even as blackmail material, or to prove to Liam that his ideas are mostly always stupid. He might even post it on Instagram.

“There’s a shop right down the road, we can get a coconut there later, _Christ_.” Louis rolls his eyes, tapping his foot impatiently. He squints in the distance, and the waves look like they’re settling, which means it’s the perfect time to head down towards the ocean.

Harry is making a smart ass comment about the authenticity of the coconut when Zayn leans over and plants a kiss on Louis’ cheek. No one bats an eye; it’s completely normal for them. For all of them, really. Louis tells Harry to shut up and gives Liam’s shoulder a warm squeeze to stop him pouting, and the five of them hike their surfboards down to the shoreline.

They surf for the majority of the afternoon. None of them are experts, per se, but Louis and Liam are well versed from their time in Australia, passing their tips and tricks onto the other lads who soon pick it up and manage to at least balance on their boards for a short while.

The sun is going down when they drop off their surfboards and wetsuits at the rental place. Louis’ skin is damp and sun kissed and Niall complains that he tastes salty when he playfully pokes his tongue at Louis’ forearm. Harry quickly searches Google for restaurants nearby, and they end up sat in a shack adorned with string lights and loud, atmospheric steel pan music filling the air.

Louis lets Zayn order for him, trusting that he will just _know_ what it is that will satisfy Louis’ infamously hard to satisfy palette. A big mistake, because when the dishes are brought out Louis is the only one of the five of them with actual salad on his plate. Zayn and Harry exchange a knowing look across the table and Louis grits through his teeth that he hates them, kicking Zayn’s shin for good measure. Zayn yelps and Louis gives him a deathly stare as he stabs at some lettuce with his fork. It is a nice meal, in the end, but Louis won’t give Zayn the satisfaction. Naturally, he pouts his way through the entire thing and demands that someone buy him a cheesecake to make up for it, which Liam ends up doing because he loves Louis too much not to. Definitely not because he wants in on it, too.

They order a crate of beer to the table, as well, which at first is a puzzling request to the hostess, but one which is quickly settled when Harry flashes her a dimpled smile and signs the bill with a $50 tip.

The restaurant is quite lovely; it’s fitted out with rustic looking wooden tables and chaise lounges that encompass the small shack, meaning they have an excuse to lay across the beds while they relax and drink up. Louis’ tummy is pleasantly full with food and beer, and he sits with his hand resting on the soft flesh below his naval, eyes closed and a languid half smile on his face.

He feels safe and content surrounded by the people he loves the most. Always does.

It’s as if Zayn reads his mind. “I always feel so good with you lads.” He says, voice barely a whisper, still shy but made brave enough by the alcohol to be softer than usual. “S’nice, this. Being with you. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Liam slings an arm around Zayn’s shoulder. “This band… everything we’ve been through. It changed my life. You changed my life.”

Louis knows for a fact that Harry is tearing up, doesn’t even have to look at him for proof because he sniffles before Louis can turn his head towards him. “You’re making Harry cry, Z.” Louis says.

“I am  _not_ crying.” Harry says, voice wobbly.

Niall crowds into Harry’s space and looks right into his eyes. “He’s crying.”

There’s a pregnant pause and then they’re all laughing, and they laugh so much that Louis’ chest swells with it. He looks around the circle at his best friends. At Harry, who he’s going to marry someday. At Zayn, the only person in the world who can read him like a book, his partner in crime. At Niall, with his infectious grin and his heart of gold. And finally at Liam, who’s staring right back at him, eyes glowing, like he’s thinking the same thing.

“I love you all.” It bursts out of Louis before he can think of the implications of it. Not that they haven’t said it before, but it somehow feels different. “I love you in different ways but I love you all the same.”

He tries to gauge everyone’s reactions all at once, but the only thing he really notices is the flash of panic that spreads across Niall’s face. Louis’ stomach sinks; he hopes he hasn’t said the wrong thing. Niall smiles anyway, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Harry reaches across the chaise longue and rubs at Louis’ thigh.

“Love you, Lou.”

Louis blinks. “Yeah.”

—

The atmosphere dies down, and they stumble home, some more drunk than others, and crash in various places around the beach house. Louis ends up sandwiched between Harry and Zayn in the master bedroom, Liam in a twin bed down the hall, and Niall, presumably, on the couch downstairs. Louis can’t quite shake his unsettled mood. He lays awake, listening to Harry snoring gently in his ear, and thinks about Niall’s reaction.

Does Niall not feel the same? Louis had always assumed that the general consensus of the group was that they were all very much in it together, no matter what. They’re a unit, a family. Eventually, after about an hour of tossing and turning, Louis weasels his way out from between Harry and Zayn  and tiptoes downstairs, Niall is awake, flicking through the TV channels.

“Anything good on?” Louis asks softly, not wanting to startle Niall.

Niall whips his head around towards Louis’ direction. “Oh, hiya Tommo.” He offers Louis a tired smile. “Not really.” He turns back to the TV with a shrug and settles on some crap movie rerun.

“Can I have a cuddle?” Louis proposes, hoping he doesn’t sound as needy as he feels. He must look pitiful, stood there barefoot with the bottom of a t-shirt that’s way too big for him balled up in his fists. Niall hums and nods, so Louis trudges over and sits himself down next to Niall.

Louis nudges into Niall’s side and Niall lifts his arm up so Louis can fit under it. He rests his head on Niall’s chest and wraps his arm around his waist. “This okay?”

“‘Course it is, Louis.”

They stay like that for ten minutes, give or take, pretending to watch the movie. Louis can hear the quickened pace of Niall’s heart beating through his thin tee.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier.” Louis finally says, feeling Niall tense up a little.

“No, no. You didn’t.”

Louis lifts his head up and stares at Niall expectantly.

“ _Okay_ , you did. But I can explain.” Niall starts. “It’s just that recently I’ve been thinking that, uh, that I’m aromantic?”

Louis nods. “That’s awesome, Nialler. Doesn’t change anything.”

“Right, yeah.” Niall looks down at his hands nervously. “But, more so than that, I’ve been thinking that I like _being_ with you guys.” He swallows. “Exclusively.”

Louis is a little confused. “Like a relationship?”

“I suppose so, yeah.” Niall admits. “I don’t know how it would work or if it’s even a _thing_. All I know is you four lads are my best friends and I want us to stay like this forever. Like, I’d marry you all, but in a platonic way.”

Louis smiles softly. “That’s so cute.” He squishes Niall’s cheeks. Niall exhales shakily, relieved. “I thought maybe you didn’t love me back or something.”

“Are you mad, mate? ‘Course I love ya! It’s why I freaked out. With you and Zayn saying all that soppy shit.” Louis pokes him. “ _Hey!”_

“I think,” Louis says. “We need a group meeting. Tomorrow morning.”

Niall ruffles Louis’ hair as he settles back down against his chest. “I agree.”

Louis yawns and points at the TV. “This film sucks.”

“I agree.”

“Sleep?” Louis fumbles across the couch for the remote so he can shut the TV off. Niall adjusts the pillows behind his back and lies down further, leaving a space between his legs for Louis to slot himself between. Louis feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and he easily falls into a peaceful sleep.

—

The group meeting happens, true to Louis’ word, the following morning.

Louis had woken up feeling warm and rested, hair matted and all over the place and a mark on his arm where it’d been trapped under Niall’s leg. He’d crawled out from under a still sleeping Niall and padded his way to the kitchen. After rummaging through the cupboards, he’d luckily found a box of tea sat collecting dust in the back of one. He wasted no time in boiling some water over the stove and making himself a cup. It was chamomile, not his choice flavour, but nice nonetheless. Louis has never been able to stomach coffee in the morning and still winces whenever he watches Harry knock back an espresso before 8am.

Speaking of Harry, he’s the first of the boys to join Louis in the kitchen. He offers Louis a sleepy smile as he crosses the room and makes a beeline for the coffee machine.

“Morning, love.” Louis says, voice low and scratchy. It’s still too early, really.

Harry responds with a sort of hum in the back of his throat as he groggily pours his coffee. Louis loves him. He loves everything about him.

Niall wakes up soon after, clearly disturbed by the noise Louis and Harry must be making in the kitchen. The cons of open plan living, Louis thinks. Niall shifts and grunts and groans before pulling himself up from the sofa.

Unsurprisingly, the first words out of his mouth are “Where’s Tommo?” Louis whistles and diverts Niall’s attention towards him. “Oh, hiya.”

Harry greets him too, offers him a coffee. Niall declines politely and tells Harry the only way he’d drink his ‘bean water’ is if it were laced with alcohol. Louis chuckles at this and slaps Niall affectionately on the back.

The three of them are still rousing themselves from sleep when Liam comes bounding down the stairs, heavy footed and two steps at a time.

“Jesus, have you got somewhere to be?” Louis says derisively, blowing cool air across the top of his mug of tea.

Liam flashes a 500 watt smile. “Yes, actually.”

Niall raises an eyebrow at Harry who shakes his head and goes back to spreading peanut butter across a bagel.

“We all do. I’ve booked us a boat trip.” Liam looks enthusiastic, his eyes shining with excitement, but one quick glance at the other boys’ faces turns his grin into a disappointed frown. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Louis knows that it will be a disaster. Years of trying and failing to maneuver golf carts has taught him this much: that he and Liam should never be behind a wheel together. In fact, Louis remembers almost running over a crew members foot once, and more vividly remembers Liam’s _I told you so_ ’s afterwards.

Still, it’ll be a riot. Disastrous, maybe, but fun. Louis is never one to turn down an adventure.

“That sounds awesome, Li. Get some breakfast first, yeah?” Louis says softly. He’s so caring, Louis is, and fiercely protective. He’s like an overbearing parent sometimes, but he loves his boys and he loves looking after them.

Liam nods and settles at the dining table, grabbing a piece of near-burnt toast from the plate Louis had prepared and resolutely chomping down on it. They sit round the table and eat in comfortable silence, each of them becoming more and more awake as the sun comes up outside and early morning light floods the room. Zayn stumbles down the stairs eventually, dragging his feet and groggily latching onto Louis when he enters the kitchen. Louis ruffles his hair and gets him a glass of water that Zayn gulps down in one.

Niall is stood by the sink washing the dishes when Louis brings it up, “So, me and Niall were talking last night.”

Louis watches Niall incredulously for his reaction. He doesn’t want to screw things up, or say the wrong thing, especially when he doesn’t know the full extent of what Niall feels and wants. He hopes that if he can just introduce it into the conversation, Niall will lead on with it.  Niall locks eyes with Louis and his expression is calm and warm, so Louis continues on.

“He told me something, and I think he wanted to tell you guys, too?”

Louis nods encouragingly at Niall, who clears his throat and sets the clean cutlery on the counter. He turns and props himself against it, leaning back and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah, thanks Lou. Not really sure how to say it, if I’m being honest, lads.”

Harry crosses the kitchen and places a hand on Niall’s shoulder. “Hey, whatever it is, you can take your time with it.”

Liam and Zayn mumble something in agreement and watch on, offering Niall small, reassuring glances every so often. Niall looks anxious, but comfortable, and definitely not pressured. He wants to tell them, he’s just afraid of it sounding stupid.

“I’m aromantic.”

Zayn shoots up immediately. He’s familiar with the concept, clearly, and part of the aspec community himself. There’s a flash of emotions across his face but mostly he looks overwhelmed with affection for Niall’s honesty.

Harry blinks slowly, tired. “Cool.” He says, simple as that. He pads across the kitchen and wraps his arm around Niall. He doesn’t ask any questions, he doesn’t make a fuss. It makes Niall feel completely accepted. Sure enough, the other boys join in, and they stand in a group hug telling Niall he’s loved and they’re proud of him and they support him no matter what.

It’s quite anticlimactic, when Niall reflects on it. He supposes it’s a good thing, though.

Nothing else is said for the rest of the morning, but the subject isn’t skirted around either, which comforts Niall. They drive down to the harbour at 2pm, Liam and Louis in the front and the other three piled in the back amongst towels and half full bottles of sunscreen. At the dock, they’re greeted by a jovial looking man wearing a straw hat who directs them towards the boat they’re renting for the afternoon. The boat turns out to be a yacht, which is far different to what Liam had insinuated. The others were expecting a canoe, or a dinghy, or something.

Louis eagerly grapples for the wheel.

“You have _no_ idea what you’re doing, Tommo!” Liam half laughs, half yells, clutching his side as Louis over exuberantly pretends to steer the ship.

“‘Course I do, lad! Just got to turn it!” Louis hollers back from the yacht’s bridge.

Harry ambles up the deck and rolls his eyes, swinging a shiny metallic object around the end of his fingers. “You might need the keys first, Louis.”

“Yeah, uh… keys. Right.”

Harry shoves at Louis playfully until he gives in and shuffles to the side. Harry fires the engine up and commandeers the yacht out of the dock with impressive ease, and they sail off down the coast at a comfortable speed. Half an hour in, when they’re away from the mainland, Harry switches off the engine and joins the others where they’re sunning themselves on the roof deck.

The conversation dies down as soon as he clambers up the ladder.

“Did I interrupt something?” He cocks an eyebrow while he shimmies off his floral shirt and lets it drop to the floor.

“We were just about to come fetch you for a group meeting.” Louis says, looking between Niall and Zayn who are currently draped over each others’ laps. “I was thinking about… something.”

“That sounds worrying.” Harry jokes. Louis sticks out his tongue. Liam pats the empty space next to him and Harry follows over, sitting cross legged beside him.

“So,” Louis starts, folding his hands. “We know Niall is aro. Zayn’s ace. We’re obviously together. And Liam’s just Liam, isn’t he?”

“ _Hey!”_

“Sssh, Payno, you’re still special.” Louis pats his arm reassuringly until Liam stops pouting.

“Regardless of who we are and what we identify with, we’ve got each other, yeah? We always have and we always will.”

Harry nods understandingly. “Of course.”

Liam clears his throat and takes over. “Well, what if we were all together?”

“Exclusively. In different ways between us, but together all the same.” Zayn adds.

Niall offers Harry a happy, adoring smile. “What do you think, H?”

Harry ponders it over for a second, but it doesn’t take much thought. “Yes. Yeah, of course.”

Louis jumps on him, pretty much. Niall too, kissing his cheek and saying _thankyou thankyou thankyou_ over and over into Harry’s curls.

When Harry looks past the two boys in his lap, he sees Liam and Zayn embraced in a warm hug, and he feels nothing but love for all four of them. He’s in love with Louis, yes, but he loves the others, too, and he does want to be with them all. He isn’t sure if there’s a proper term for it, but he wants it. He wants it so much.

All in all, it ends up being a much less disastrous day than Louis had anticipated. They didn’t capsize the boat, no one got sunburn, and now, they’re _together_.

They’re Louis and Harry and Niall and Liam and Zayn, and they’re with each other undoubtedly and indefinitely. Whatever it means, wherever they may be. On a Caribbean island, the back of a cramped tour bus, out on stage for the entire world to see. Their hearts are in it, and nothing else matters.


End file.
